My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize