He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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