So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
