Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
