How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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