i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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