i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
