But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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