Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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