"it" just moved
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
