but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we made out on top of his cat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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