On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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