Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
