So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
