He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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