The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize