Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
