come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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