I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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