I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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