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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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