I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
