i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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