Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
