We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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