Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
