I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
