Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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