how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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