I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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