three words: i give head
three words: not that well
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
