She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize