check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
