i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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