I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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