We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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