my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
