WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
