I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
