the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love having hate sex.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
