i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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