She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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