If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
