Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
