How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
