i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
