Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
