I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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