Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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