Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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