It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
