why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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