So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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