we have officially lost it.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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