sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
