I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
