Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
