oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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