I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
