One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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