I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
