Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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