Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
